Divorce Counseling
Could The End Of Your Marriage Be The Beginning Of Something New?
Are you in the process of a separation or divorce?
Have feelings of anger and grief caused you to feel hopeless, out of control, and directionless?
Do you need support as you navigate the next chapter of life?
Whether you’re on the receiving end of a divorce or the one who initiated the separation in the first place, dissolving a marriage can be an incredibly taxing and significant life change. As a result, you may be struggling with overwhelming worry in determining a plan for the future and how to handle the stress of what could be a complicated and drawn-out legal process.
Divorce Is A Form Of Loss, So Grief Is A Natural Response
It’s completely understandable if you’re experiencing immense sadness and grief. You may feel physically and emotionally depleted at the end of each day. This could be made worse by bouts of crying and other physical symptoms like chest tightness and nausea that have further added to your discomfort. After all, you’re in the process of adjusting your routine and bound to experience emotional and physical growing pains along the way.
On the other hand, there may be elements of your new life that excite you—yet you can’t help but feel guilty. You may feel pressured to manage the feelings of your ex, extended family members, shared friends, and children (if you have them) while also figuring out what makes sense for you. Although you want things to be civil and reach a fair resolution, you also recognize the need for constructive, effective boundaries that will protect your time, emotions, and energy.
You probably wish you could skip through the hard stuff and arrive at your next step with newfound clarity and capability. Or maybe you wish you could go back in time and fix the fractures in your marriage. But though you can’t time-travel, you can reorient your life in a way that honors your deepest values and dreams for the future. Through counseling, you have a meaningful opportunity to find peace, purpose, and direction following a separation or divorce.
Your Marriage May Be Over, But You Are Not Alone
Divorce is painful for each partner, regardless of who serves the papers. This pain can be exacerbated in divorcees who are 50 or older, who often fear being alone forever. Some men and women in this age group may even avoid leaving their marriages in the first place, despite knowing the relationship is no longer working.
But you are not the only person going through this, and you certainly won’t be alone forever. Many individuals come to counseling with the fear that their lives will feel emptier and less purpose-driven after a divorce, but they leave therapy with a renewed sense of self-confidence.
Following A Divorce, It’s Important To Tell Your Own Story—But You Also Have To Be Careful About Who You Share Your Story With
There are many reasons why divorces happen. Whether there was infidelity, we got married too young, or our marriage struggled with a lack of communication and commitment, a variety of factors could have snowballed and eventually contributed to the dissolution of the relationship.
Unfortunately, many divorce-related stereotypes and misconceptions in our culture exist, causing many women to doubt themselves and their choices. There can also be a lot of stigma and shame surrounding divorce, especially if we come from families with traditional, inflexible standards when it comes to marriage.
But your story is not over, and your life is not severed—you just need to make a few adjustments as you begin the next chapter. Post-divorce counseling can give you the tools and perspectives you need to tell your story the way it was meant to be told.
Counseling Paves The Way To A New, Purpose-Driven Life After Divorce
As a therapist specializing in a range of anxiety issues, I understand some of the ways that divorce may be impacting your life and relationships. My job is to offer you support and a safe place to process your emotions. Working together in therapy, we can strategize ways to identify and assert your needs, reduce emotional overwhelm, and chart a new path forward.
What To Expect
First and foremost, counseling will be structured around your most immediate concerns following a divorce. If you are feeling shocked, angry, and/or frustrated, I will encourage you to be completely honest about your feelings and open to what they may be telling you. With me, there is no need to maintain a false sense of bravado that you are doing just fine. Rather, the therapeutic process will be tailored to meet you where you really are in adjusting to your divorce.
From there, we will begin collaborating on a toolbox that will allow you to care for yourself at every level. Whether your symptoms align with physical, emotional, cognitive, or spiritual distress, I will offer you grounding and coping techniques to help you achieve a new baseline, rediscover your purpose, and experience joy again.
My Approach
My counseling style combines Mindfulness with elements of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and somatic (or body-based) methods. You are working through real feelings of pain, and it’s easy to get overtaken by negativity in the process. My approach aims to help you navigate anger, confusion, and mixed messages as you learn to recognize and accept an entirely new yet self-affirming identity.
Determining the why behind your separation or divorce is essential to the healing process. Not only will it help you understand what happened in your previous relationship—it will set you up for success for all of your relationships moving forward. Furthermore, giving yourself the time and space to grieve the relationship can help you achieve closure.
In addition, you may very well have to continue a relationship with your ex even after the divorce, so counseling will be an opportunity to determine—for yourself and no one else—what a healthy relationship with them will look like. Similarly, we will work on ways to establish a “new normal” for your children and home life.
Through therapy, you will gain the confidence to face each minute, day, week, and eventually month with a renewed sense of purpose, recognizing just how adaptable and resilient you are. While divorce can make it feel impossible to look beyond the now, counseling gives you a meaningful chance to see the bright and hopeful future that awaits you.
Perhaps You’re Unsure If Therapy Is Right For You…
Divorce is already expensive enough—I can’t afford to see a therapist.
I understand that divorce can be costly, so I aim to make my therapy services as accessible as possible. In general, I almost always have flexible fee/sliding scale sessions available. And even if those spots are currently filled, they usually open up in about two to four weeks. Just let me know if you are interested in this option, and I will ensure that you get the next available opening!
I don’t think I need therapy, but my divorce is causing me a lot of anxiety. Should I get a prescription for anti-anxiety medication?
If your anxiety has become acute to the point of regularly affecting your physical comfort, sleep, and stress levels, then I would suggest reaching out to your doctor. Regardless of if you get a prescription or not, it’s good to get your vitals checked and let your doctor know about any physical changes that have taken place.
With that information in mind, you may decide together that a short-term prescription is necessary. However, I am a non-prescribing clinician, so any decisions about medication will ultimately have to be made with your doctor.
I’ve been told to meditate, but I’ve never done it before. Is now a good time to start?
Meditation is certainly a great way to curb anxiety, but I wouldn’t advise beginning a silent meditation practice in earnest during the divorce process. Instead, I would suggest using one of the many well-regarded meditation apps that are available and begin a practice that doesn’t exceed five minutes per session. If you tolerate it effectively, you can increase your sessions incrementally. One of my favorites is www.take2mins.org.
That said, it’s absolutely essential to not move too fast too soon—divorce is usually a grief process, so it’s important to talk through your issues with a supportive figure like a counselor in order to heal.
Embrace The Unknown With Confidence Instead Of Fear
Counseling can offer you the tools needed to build a strong foundation for life after divorce. To learn more about how I can help, contact me.
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