Grief Therapy
Does Your Loss Feel Like Too Much to Bear?
Grief, a universal human experience that often remains unspoken, is something we all face at some point in our lives. The inevitability of death or any life-altering event is not something we typically prepare for in advance, leading to unexpected grief. Not only did you lose someone. You lost your life as you knew it.
Few people know what to say or do during someone else’s grief. You’ll hear “I’m sorry for your loss” a lot. People will share cliches they’ve read on social media. Unless they’ve undergone significant loss themselves, they have no idea how painful your loss truly is.
The death or severe chronic disease of a child, parent, or life partner is often the most painful cause of grief. The loss (or anticipated life change) of these individuals, who are integral to our daily lives in terms of emotional support, companionship, and shared experiences, can be deeply felt, often causing immense pain. Our pets, who usually provide us with unconditional love and friendship, frequently fall into the category of individuals integral to our daily lives.
Grieving Can Feel Too Heavy
When a death is unexpected, we usually feel shocked and numb. Even when death is anticipated, one of the most challenging aspects of grief is often the profound sense of depression, loneliness, and emptiness it can bring. This emotional state, marked by sadness, loss of interest in life, changes in appetite, loss of sleep, and a lack of energy, can be challenging to navigate during the grieving process. Grieving can be accompanied by physical pain involving chest and stomach tightness and sometimes the sensation that it is difficult to breathe. We feel compelled to put on a good face to family and friends; however, sadness can become unbearable when alone. To cope with these feelings, engaging in activities that bring comfort, such as talking to a trusted friend or family member, journaling, practicing mindfulness, or seeking professional help with grief therapy can be helpful.
It Can Feel Like It’s Taking Too Long to Feel Relief
Clients often ask, “How long will it take for this pain to go away?” There is no single answer to this question because each situation is unique, just as every individual has a unique connection to the individual who is gone.
Remember, grief is not limited to the loss of a family member or friend. It can also be a typical response to any change in one’s life pattern, such as a job loss, an unexpected move, divorce, betrayal, or even a planned event like retirement. Your feelings are valid, no matter the cause of your grief.
It's important to remember that grief is a universal experience. We all go through it, and there are several commonalities in how we experience it, such as chest heaviness, lack of appetite, and withdrawal from social situations. However, despite these shared experiences, grief can often feel like the most isolating sensation one can ever experience.
Why Do We Grieve and Why Does It Hurt So Much?
Grief is the process of your mind and body adjusting to a change in your life and the existence of those who surround and guide you. Humans are not the only animals who grieve or cry. If you’ve watched any nature documentaries, they often show the pain in many species as they stay near those members of their groupings after death and cry. They, too, have to adjust to a change in life circumstances and find it a complicated process.
Our society often promotes the idea of inner strength and self-reliance, but it’s crucial to recognize that no one is expected to handle all of life’s challenges alone. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to your strength and resilience. There are numerous resources available for those experiencing grief, and a few sessions with a counselor or therapist can provide valuable perspective, as well as equip you with tools and resources to manage the most difficult symptoms.
Therapy For Grief At Inner Voice Counseling
I offer the safety of comfortable surroundings and no judgment so that you can share your struggles. We can also find tools to help you work through your loss as quickly as possible while honoring your process. As your therapist, I help you understand the way your body and mind experience grief and the rhythm to expect as you move forward. This therapy process can be as short or long as you need it to be. Some people have more complex issues we discover in exploring your grief as you share your experience.
My Approach To Working with Grief
I use a combination of tools found in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), Mindfulness strategies, and somatic (or body-based) strategies to address the frequent pain of grief. Techniques in grief yoga (a separate type of somatic therapy) are beneficial.
Even though grief will often manage itself over time, the initial stages do not need to be dealt with alone. Sharing your experience makes it less miserable, and the burden is lifted when you can discuss your circumstances with someone skilled in listening and understanding without judgment.
Be assured you don’t have to deal with your grief alone. And it can feel very lonely even when surrounded by family and friends who care a lot. Seeking professional help, such as a grief therapist, can give you the support and guidance you need during this difficult time. I invite you to get in touch with me. We can set up a quick 15-minute phone call to decide if we’re a good fit and schedule sessions from there. I’m here to help.
Perhaps You’re Not Sure If Therapy Can Help You…
How long does it take for the grieving process to take place?
Grieving is the process of adjusting to significant changes in our lives. The time to make this adjustment depends mainly on what has changed. For instance, grieving the loss of an acquaintance or distant friend will happen more quickly than the adjustment to the loss of a life partner, parent, or child. It depends a great deal on how close you are to the person who has died or how significant the change in life is if your grief has to do with a life event unrelated to a person’s death. Some people feel an empty spot for the rest of their lives after the loss of their life partner or child, but the active physical and mental pain of grieving has primarily disappeared in about a year. It varies with each individual.
If you are having disruptive physical and mental anguish after three months, I recommend therapy for grief. I don’t expect the grieving process to have run its course. However, the worst parts of the pain and shock should pass in roughly 3-4 months. If it hasn’t, then it’s worth talking about what is keeping you from feeling better.
Do you have personal experience with significant loss?
Not only am I trained to assist individuals experiencing grief, I have had my share of loss and understand the pain. A sibling, a son, and parents are on my list of those I grieve the most. It helps to know that the person you’re seeking help from knows the anguish you’re living through. I have also grieved significant changes in health matters over the years, which changed my outlook on life and work. I’m not inside your experience, but I have had my own intense experiences, so I hold compassion for your pain.
How will psychotherapy help what is supposed to be a regular process? Won’t I feel better in time?
You will, of course, feel better over time. Sometimes, we get stuck in parts of the grieving process, making it difficult to move on promptly. Psychotherapy for grief is not intended to “fix” grief. Grief is a process. It is, however, intended to help you share the areas of the burden that feel the most uncomfortable and help you gain perspective so that when you watch your thoughts, you can use your new wisdom to ease the pain and start this new chapter of your life with confidence.
You can move through life after an ending.
If you are having a difficult time moving through the grieving process take a few minutes to schedule an appointment or find out more about how I can help. Contact me. Both in-person and virtual sessions are available.
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